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When we bring our little bundles of joy into the world, we think that we will be different, and we will not repeat history.  

We think that no one could ever have loved their child as much as we love ours.  And we think that whatever the wrongs we did as a child growing into adulthood or whatever wrongs we perceive our parents did will not be repeated.  We believe we will be the kind of parents who bring up the perfect child.  Then, as our babies become toddlers, we see a glimmer of the character that will eventually become their own.   As they reach the pre-teen years, there is even more of their character to see.  

What we sometimes forget, is that as small children, they are completely dependent upon us for their every need.  When they grow, our job is to let them spread their wings, to empower them to be all they can be.  When they a re doing great, we are there for them.   When they fall, we pick them up.  

If we do our jobs well, then these precious gifts,  will expand their horizons and will naturally want to step into out on their own.  

Yes, they will give you grief, yes they will test you in every way, and yes, you will always love them for who they are and for who they are not.  

There is a natural separation that begins to occur when children become teens and then young adults.  They must separate from their parents to make their own future.  This is the time, when you can finally become the most proud of the journey you have travelled together.  You have laid a wonderful foundation for your children.  When your child finally leaves the nest it is on  their own, you can rest assured that this is their journey now, just as you took the same journey when you left home for the very first time.  

It doesn't mean that you will never have the opportunity to  be with your child again.  It simply means that there is a new chapter in their life, and in yours. 

Be proud of a job well done, and  learn to enjoy the empty nest.  

One day soon, their nest will be filled an you will reap the rewards of  taking a new journey into grandparenthood.  Enjoy and embrace the empty nest.  You may feel like they will never come back, like they don't care, but as my son says "I have become the person I am in great part because of you".  What a compliment.  So for all of  you who are struggling with the teen, or the young adult, breathe  in and breathe out, because one da, y they will become your friend.  

This can also apply to those parents who are sharing parenting with their ex partners.  There  are no rules here.   The most  important thing to remember, is to love the time you have with your children and travel on your own journey,  perhaps for some finding yourself again for the first time in a very long time.   

Caterina  Barregar

Relationship Coach -  Specializing In Self Esteem For Better Relationships

www.imaginelifecoaching.ca