Common Mistakes That Can Ruin Your Relationship

Relationships can be challenging when we don’t know how to navigate them. There are so many books, on the topic of relationships, a lot of instruction from the educational system, and many of us don’t have good role models to use as a healthy reference. Even the most laid back individuals can get quite dramatic when it comes to relationship issues.

The prospect of rejection can make people do things they would never do under normal circumstances.

Avoid the most common mistakes that ruin relationships:

1. Attempting to change the other person. If you’ve ever tried to do something you don’t want to do, you know how challenging it can be to make changes in your life. It’s 10 times harder to try to change another person. In fact, why would you want to change them in the first place?  A person changes, when they are ready to change, or they want to change. Nothing you can do or say, will make it happen.  
2. Avoiding confrontation at all costs. Some things aren’t worth arguing about. When things that really bother you come up though, they are worth addressing.Otherwise, how will the situation ever improve? You’re setting yourself up to be annoyed, hurt, or frustrated on a daily basis for the rest of your life. Hard talks are necessary from time to time.
    
3. Not maintaining enough distance from your ex. Your ex might still be your friend. You might even share children together. But there’s a limit to what your current partner should have to deal with.
4. Focusing on the negative. Take a few minutes each day to jot down those things you appreciate about your partner. You’ll find that you feel more positive about your partner. Interestingly, they haven’t changed. You have. Then take a moment each day to tell them the good you saw in them. 
    
5. Failing to communicate your needs. Men don’t want to communicate. Many women think men should be able to read their minds. Neither is an effective way to manage a relationship. Take responsibility for your relationship and your happiness by communicating clearly.
    
6. Failing to take care of yourself. Men and women are both guilty of this. A relationship is no reason to stop going to the gym or to start wearing your pj’s to the store. As shallow as it may seem, part of the reason you fell in love with each other was based on your appearances. Take as much pride in your appearance today as you did in the past. Not only is it good for your self esteem, it also shows your partner that you practice self care.
    
7. Moving too quickly. Relationships have a better chance for survival if they’re eased into. When a relationship moves too quickly, there’s one partner that’s at least a little uncomfortable with the pace. Don’t rush it, just enjoy the journey. It will be totally worth the wait. 
    
8. Failing to give your partner space. You have a life together. You also have separate lives. Allow each other the space to breathe. You don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7. Do you? If you do, then it is likely that you are moving into a co-dependent relationship, rather than an inter-dependent one.  

An intimate relationship can add a lot of value to your life. However, that value doesn’t come cheaply. They can take up a lot of mental space and create negative emotions. People come into relationships come with baggage, that, if worked on, help you deepen your relationship and avoid the most common mistakes people often make.

If you are still concerned about how to navigate your relationship, and wondering why you should follow these ideas and strategies, think about all of your prior relationships and how these strategies could have helped you to save the relationship. 

Caterina Barregar

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