How to Practice Self Love
Being able to accept your perfectly imperfect self is key. All too often people mistakenly believe that self-love is all about focusing on the positive. However, it really means accepting yourself exactly as you are. You are completely aware of “self” and you love yourself regardless.
Being able to accept your perfectly imperfect self is key. All too often people mistakenly believe that self-love is all about focusing on the positive. However, it really means accepting yourself exactly as you are. You are completely aware of “self” and you love yourself regardless.
You also need to learn to be compassionate with yourself. We tend to be our own worst critics. Think about the way you usually talk about yourself in your head, then think whether you would speak the same way to a friend. Chances are, you wouldn’t. If you want to love yourself, you need to have self-compassion and learn to be your own cheerleader, rather than critic. The best way to do that is to watch your negative self talk.
Another misconception is that self-love means indulging in the things you love, but which aren’t necessarily good for you. Many people think it is more about giving yourself the things you want. The truth is, self-love is more about giving the mind, body, and spirit what it needs, not what it wants. For example, if you are overweight, you may want to indulge in your favourite foods, but what you need is to start eating healthier. So, learning to focus on what you need and not what you want is important.
Just as you overcome focusing on your perceived faults, you need to let go of expectations of perfectionism. Nobody is perfect, yet today’s society expects it and the media sells you on perfectly edited photos of a product you must buy to become perfect. It can feel like there is a lot of pressure on you to be the perfect parent, friend, and partner. Studies have shown that striving for perfection isn’t just bad for your mental health, it can be bad for your physical health too. So, if you want to provide yourself with self-love, you’re going to need to let go of perfectionism.
Finally, you also need to learn to listen to your self talk. It is easy to be influenced by the people around us. However, when you do things for other people, you aren’t going to be happy in the long run. Self-love is about focusing on what you want and need. Begin here, and you’ll have a much better chance of succeeding.
Stop Self Sabotaging Yourself
One of the biggest barriers to self-love is self-sabotage. It has comes in many forms, and it will derail your progress, and keep you stuck in your old habits. If you struggle with self-sabotage, below you’ll discover some ways to stop it and what it means.
Understanding Self-Sabotage
Before you can stop self-sabotaging yourself, you first need to understand when you’re doing it. A lot of the time, it can be subconscious, so you may not realize it is happening. If you have a goal in mind but you never accomplish it, it could be because something in your subconscious mind is fighting against it.
Self-sabotage can appear in the form of thoughts and/or actions. They also may be the result of something we do or don’t do. It is often a self-preservation technique, with the mind trying to protect us from a perceived negative outcome. It can also be linked to comfort. The mind likes comfort and change is often uncomfortable. Even when you might be in a very uncomfortable circumstance, sometimes it is challenging to take that first step to freedom, change and possibilities, because people get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
First things first
- Identify your self sabotaging habits
- Understand the cause
- Change your habits
Do Kind Things For Yourself
- Make time for YOU
- Recognize your achievements
- Forgive Yourself
- Be your own cheerleader
- Laugh
Develop A Positive Mindset
- Begin the day with a positive thoughts
- Look for humour in tough times
- Focus on only the good things
- See failures as lessons.
- Focus more on the present
- Learn to combat negative thinking
Show your body, mind and spirit some love
- Meditate
- Surround yourself with positive people
- Take responsibility for your life
- Separate your thoughts from feelings
- Take a break from technology
- Exercise
There is a lot more to all of this. If you are ready to commit you your personal growth, and learn more about self love, please book your Discovery Session here. I would love to help.
“Make love your compass”. Start with loving all that is you.
Caterina Barregar
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