Let’s Talk About Intimacy – Part 2

Flirting – Do’s And Don’ts. When you first meet someone, it’s important to know how to flirt, what to do and what not to do. 

Flirting – Do’s and Don’ts 

When you first meet someone, its important to know what to do and what not to do. 

Men and women are the same when it comes to flirting.  They often feel nervous about flirting over text, the phone or in person. 

It’s important tho to bring flirting into the conversation at some point or another, otherwise you just end up being friends, mainly because no one really takes that next step. 

You don’t want to end up in the friend zone.  Being nervous, or wanting to take things slow is great.  In fact moving into flirting after being very slow and intentional and taking baby steps, can really build a smouldering fire of desire. 

It’s ok to take your time.  You want to be sure that this is the one you want to date.  

Here are some tips on flirting that might help you. 


1.  Smile at the other person.  When you smile, let the smile reach your eyes.  It’s a beautiful way to communicate. 

2.  Start talking.  Opening a conversation is a great way to get your feet wet.  As you develop trust and rapport, you will find it easier to begin flirting.   Keep your conversation light.  Talking about heavy stuff, or negative events won’t encourage flirting.  (If there is something that is weighing on your mind, share, so that the other person gets a sense of what might be going on, but don’t stay there too long. )

3.  Body language is mostly subconscious but there are also things you can do consciously to help you get your message across.  

         A simple touch on the shoulder, hand, arm 

         Lean in

         Don’t fold your arms in front of you

         Keep eye contact

4.  Flirt with your eyes 

     I have a story to tell here.  Years ago, I met an 80 something woman who is still a good friend of mine 

     today.  She wanted to teach me how to flirt with the boys.  It has been a running joke since we became 

     friends.  Whenever I see this lovely woman, she reminds me that I need to remember to use my eyes

     when flirting.  She told me, “tilt your head to one side, raise your face, smile and bat those eyes for a  

     few seconds.  That’s how you catch a man”.  We have laughed about that for years.  And yet, there is 

 5.  Be confident.  Nothing is more sexy or attractive than a man or woman who exudes confidence.  Now, 

      I’m not talking about being arrogant and entitled, but I am talking about knowing who you are, loving 

      yourself and being independent.  It’s dynamite. 


  • Don’t expect.  We often think that just because we like each other, that the next step will be dating, moving in, getting married, and so on.  Do not set expectations and you will not be let down.  
  • Dont’ be clingy.  Yes, you like them, and they like you, but being clingy and wanting to be joined at the hip is not the way to go. 
  • Don’t try to change them.  If you can’t love them for who they are then step out.  People are who they are and any changes they will make in the future are theirs to make.  If you try to change them, what are you changing them into?  The image of the perfect partner?  Remember you are attracted to them.  There is a reason. 
  • Don’t be rude.  
  • Don’t be entitled.  People who think they are all that and a bag of chips, might be cool for a minute, but it wears off pretty quickly. 
  • Don’t brag.  It’s a turn off

In the meantime, enjoy the journey.  Flirting is fun, as you deepen your relationship.  


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